I get a lot of wedding enquiries that start off with the sentence “I saw you on your website and you look really cool. Can we book you for our ceremony?“. Why thanks, flattery will get you everywhere! But if you knew more about me, you may think I’m even cooler!
Here are 10 things that you don’t know about me….
- In the privacy of my own home* I cry whenever I hear the start of the the Wedding March. I used to have this as my phone ringtone, but it proved difficult to sound professional when I was still crying each time I answered a call.
(*so far, touch wood, I haven’t teared up at any weddings I’ve officiated)
- I have been married 3 times. (or as I like to say “I’ve had three weddings, but only one was a marriage“)
- I once dyed my hair green, by accident, but my husband who is colour-blind didn’t notice.
- I have 2 tattoos (my wedding date in roman numerals on my right wrist and a bunch of calla lillies on my right hip)
- My father didn’t meet my favourite husband. Sadly he died before they had the chance to meet.
(For the record, Dad would have liked Paul).
In an amusing side-note, when typing the last sentence I originally wrote “Dad would have licked Paul”. I like to think he’d have liked him so much he’d have licked him 😛
- I had been married for 3 years before my Mum and my in-laws met each other.
- My left hand randomly turned orange two days before a wedding and I told the bride I might have to wear a Michael Jackson glove. (Coincidentally, the orange appeared the day after having a cup of tea, prepared at my hairdresser’s, whilst my hair was being bleached…I think they dyed the cup, then I dyed my hand! The bride took it in her stride and thought it would be funny.)
- If I could wear flannelette pyjama pants all day, every day, I would. I own at least 7 pairs of pyjama pants. I find the men’s pyjamas more comfy. (Insert joke about getting into my husband’s pants every day here)
- I loathe TV shows that make weddings into a competitive sport (Four Weddings, Bridezillas, etc). Bitchy brides shit me. If it’s not your wedding then mind your own business and STFU!
- If either of my sons decide they would like to marry, I will happily give them my blessing to elope. (Provided they name their 1st born Johanna…just sayin’).